This tribute is the property of Worth Remembering Publishing
© 2006

 

A Mother’s Lessons

 

Vilas Mae Langan

1936 – 2003

You could say that she was a formidable woman. Her stature and presence were something people took notice of immediately. As you met her, you could choose to be on guard, or be charmed by her ready smile. In her later years her six-foot frame would betray her need to be on the move constantly. It was her way to keep moving in spite of the challenges life brought. She had lived a hard life and it showed in every move she made. Still nothing could keep her from her volunteer duties at the local Disabled American Veterans (DAV) Bingo hall.

She was one of the oldest children born into a large poverty stricken family in rural Michigan. Her father died young. Her mother worked hard to support the family on her own until her remarriage years later. My mother learned those lessons of sacrifice and hard work well. She would need those skills in her own lifetime.

Her mother insisted that each of the eleven children in her care should learn to play an instrument. School band programs were a big part of their lives. They enjoyed many nights in their living room practicing for some upcoming band event. My mother kept this deep love for music throughout her life and encouraged her own children to play as well.

As a young woman, her choices in love were not always on target. Love was lost and gained several times. She eventually found herself alone with five children to raise on her own. Hard times had led her to California, hundreds of miles from her family home. It was the early sixties, and divorce was taboo. There were hurtful stigma’s attached. She responded to this attitude as if it had been a verbal challenge. Her inner strength shone brightly. Instead of giving up, she worked her way up with only a ninth grade education from file clerk to office manager. She became the “go to” person in every organization she was a part of. It is this determination and strength that she will be remembered for.

Her health declined and she found it necessary to retire, yet she had no intention of sitting while watching the world drift by. In honor of her father’s service in the Military, she gladly gave her time to the DAV. She worked as a bookkeeper and organizer of their events while teaching other women what she knew so well.

As her child, I grew up watching her as she took on home maintenance projects that men could not do. She researched her options and set about asking questions that would enable her to do the task well. This is the greatest gift she gave to me. It is because of her that I am able to see a problem as a challenge and not an obstacle. Her strength and wisdom will remain with me as I strive to pass those traits down to my own children.

Her life touched a wide variety of people. Her success is measured in much broader terms than the all mighty dollar. The lessons she taught are invaluable. In a time when women were expected to let their husbands take care of them, she showed many women that they could rely on themselves. She taught all of us that we are much stronger than we know. “Challenge your self” was her mantra. She lived it, taught it and we are all the better for her lessons.

Annie Thomas-Burke